In the grand tradition of American Rednecks and of Valentines Day, we bring you:
American Redneck Jokes. (They did come with peanut butter cups, but we ate those.) This is apparently the perfect present to buy your partner for Valentine's Day here - it comes in a heart-shaped tin. Ah, Redneck love...
However, these cliches also apply equally to West Aucklanders, or "Westies". So, you know you're a Westie when....
... your truck won't fit through the bank drive-thru... or MacDonald's
... you start a fight in a bar and your wife finishes it
... you have to mow your grass around a refrigerator
... most of your in-laws are outlaws
... your mailbox is made out of old auto parts
... your kids trip over the Christmas lights while hunting Easter eggs
... your dog and your wallet are both on a chain
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3 comments:
Hmm...you seem to know much about Westies. Even I didn't know that these applied to them...
:P
OK then - since you're the Westie - rewrite them for true Westies... or make up your own! :)
You know you're a westie when:
...most of your extended family lives within a four block radius
...your wardrobe includes a pair of black jeans, and at least two Metallica shirts. These are all on high rotation
...one word: Mullet
...two words: Handlebar Moustache
...you do not have a refrigerator in your yard. They are for other, lesser, people. Instead, you have a car. With no wheels. Sitting on bricks. You mow around that instead
...you own the Black album
...you know what the Black album is! (if anyone asks me if it has something to do with hip hop, then I will hunt you down. There will be pain)
...you own a Holden V8. This is not so much a source of pride, as a part of life
...drinking is also an expected part of life. Like death and taxes
...you know at least 10 people named either Wayne or Trev.
There are more, but I am loathe to reveal too many secrets of the hallowed Westies. What happens in the West, stays in the West.
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